From Me to You

From Me to You is an old Beatles classic, released as a single in 1693.  Like most of their early work, it’s a standard 1960’s tune focused on love and affection (Unlike the more bizarre experimental writing of their later years.)  From Me to You is appropriate for this week because of the tremendous outpouring of love and affection we just saw at Penn State through an incredible event called THON. 

I’d heard about THON before I came here, and while I’d always thought it sounded pretty cool, I admittedly didn’t know much about it and had never attended the event.  As the date drew near, more and more people started talking about THON around campus.  Amidst the excitement and praise, I also heard some surprising criticisms.  “THON’s not really for the kids, it’s just a big party for the students.”  “People only do THON so they can go to socials on the weekends.”  Last Friday, I was definitely curious to see for myself what THON is really all about. 

I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, but I was completely surprised by the mass of color, the uncomfortable heat, and the general excitement and energy flowing from the BJC.   Everyone had smiles on their faces – I could tell right away that THON is a really fun event.  At first, however, it did sort of seem to me like a big party for Penn State rather than a battle against childhood cancer.  The ratio of students to THON children and families was way out of balance and the hourly line dance lyrics didn’t pertain to kids at all.  Over the course of the weekend, however, my opinion completely changed.

On Saturday, the Penn State Blue Band hosted a “Make a Wish” event for THON children.  As a member of the band, I spent my afternoon with some of my friends teaching kids to high step and march Blue Band style.  Watching their excitement as they banged on snare drums and tried on our marching hats was touching, but I was really struck by the happiness and pride emanating from the faces of their parents.  Many THON children are so young that they don’t understand the magnitude of their circumstances, but their moms and dads know just how unfair the cards are that their sons and daughters were dealt.  It’s so sad.  But when I saw the smiles of these parents as they whipped out video cameras, close to tears as their tiny children high-stepped holding the hands of Blue Band members, I realized just how impactful THON is and just how important the kids really are.

There may be more students than kids at THON, but the event is truly special for the children and their families who attend.  The Dailey Collegian described one young cancer victim’s experience : “Lauren loved THON, more than she loved Christmas.”  For many children whose lives are spent in and out of hospitals, THON is the highlight of their year.   THON is a giant party, but it’s a party to celebrate the lives of these kids and give them unforgettable memories.  It’s a commemoration of Penn State students because we are a community that reaches out, that says “If there’s anything that you want, If there’s anything I can do…” We marvel at the strength of the dancers as they stay on their feet for 46 hours, representing the even greater strength of the kids who battle cancer everyday.   Each year, we offer our hands to families who are suffering, saying “Just call on me, and I’ll send it along...”  When the students of Penn State join together at THON, we make a difference FOR THE KIDS “With love from me to you.”

"With love from me to you...

To you, to you, to you."

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Out of over 200 titles, there are three Beatles songs that I call my favorite.  I can’t discern amongst them a ‘first favorite, second favorite, and third favorite’… I just know that these are three incredible pieces of music.  One of these favorites is Let it Be from my first post.  Another is Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

This song is one of Paul McCartney’s magnificent creations.  Its bouncy, reggae feel and carefree lyrics make it RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY.  It’s a story of two people, Desmond and Molly, who fall in love, get married, go through all of the motions, and are absolutely blissful the entire time even though they live a very average existence.  In between the verses telling the story of the couple’s life, the chorus sings, “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on.”

I picked Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da for this week because of this crazy thing that happened – nothing happened at all.  Realizing this, I started to wonder… When I graduated from high school, I was told that the next four years would be the best of my life.  I came to Penn State and was welcomed along with the rest of the freshman class with the famous “It’s Your Time” videos.  Supposedly, my life is at its prime right now.  If that’s the case, then why don’t I have anything noteworthy to say? – no funny stories to tell, no interesting musings.  Don’t get me wrong… I LOVE college.  But sometimes I can’t help but wonder, “Is this really it?  Is this all the more exciting my life is going to get?”

Wracking my brain as to how to make my life more, well, amazing, I thought about the fact that one can only do so many extra-ordinary things over the course of a lifetime.  We’ve all got our share of spectacular memories, but for the most part, our lives are spent in routine.  Here at college, I go to class, I eat meals, I study and write papers and read textbooks.  I go out with friends and go to club meetings, and for the next four years, this is pretty much what my life is going to be like.  I came to realize that therefore, the way to truly make the most of life must be to find more happiness in my average, day-to-day activities. I’m not saying that I’m depressed or even that I’m sad… I’m not!  But maybe if I learned to be a little bit happier every day, I would be more satisfied with life and would therefore have more to write about.

Be happier…. That’s pretty abstract.  After pondering the origin of happiness for awhile (just call me Socrates,) I realized that it’s really tough to put a finger on how exactly to gain happiness.  I also realized that over the course of my 18 years, my level of happiness has never really changed much even though I’ve had both sad and happy events occur in my life.  Basically, my happiness has only ever depended on the circumstances in my life temporarily before stabilizing out again.  What, then, causes a person to be happy?

I couldn’t sleep late one night, so I started searching online for the answer to that age-old question.  I stumbled upon a fascinating blog called “The Happiness Project,” by Gretchen Rubin, an author who spent one year trying to make her life happier.  Like me, she wasn’t looking to cure some bout of sadness, she simply believed that genuinely happy people are, “more altruistic, more productive, more helpful, more likable, more creative, more resilient, more interested in others, friendlier and healthier.”  Who wouldn’t want that?! Anyway, Gretchen Rubin’s take is that you feel happy when you act happy, unlike contrary belief that you act happy because you feel happy.  As a psychology major, I’ve heard this idea before.  In fact, studies show that general mood can improve just by smiling.  It’s all about the self-perception theory, which explains that we infer our emotions from the way we act in certain situations.

Gretchen’s doctrine really makes sense to me.  Happiness is all about the way you think and act, about the lens through which you see the world.  Sometimes it rains and you fail an exam and your dog dies and your boyfriend cheats on you and the cookies in the dining hall at West Commons are cold, but you know what? “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.”  When my life falls into a routine, I want to remember to soak up every minute I spend at Penn State.  “Life goes on,” even when we aren’t paying attention, and if we don’t make it a point to be happy every day just like “Desmond and Molly,” it will be gone before we know it.

“And if you want some fun, take ob-la-di-bla-da.”

http://www.happiness-project.com/  ...Here is the link to Gretchen Rubin's blog.  I definitely recommend it!

Eleanor Rigby

Paul McCartney wrote "Eleanor Rigby" around the middle of the Beatles' career.  It's a sad song, a song about loneliness.  Just look at some the lyrics...

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream.
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?


The second verse is even more gloomy...

Father Mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?


I picked "Eleanor Rigby" for this week because of the upcoming holiday.  That's right, next Tuesday is Valentine's Day!

Yuck.

I don't hate Valentine's Day.  I'm not one of those radicals who protests that we should love our significant others every day of the year and therefore boycott the festivities of February 14th.  In fact, I probably will go out to dinner on Valentine's Day.  I might even end up with flowers or candy or some other mushy gushy gift.  It's possible that I may even enjoy myself...  Nevertheless, I equate Valentine's Day with loneliness and disappointment.

I've spent February 14th single and I've spent it in relationships.  One year, my ex-boyfriend promised to take me to dinner and then to the movie theater to watch the premier of "Dear John." Here's how the evening actually went:

On our way to dinner, we stopped at Petco, where my ex bought himself a $70 snake. I hate snakes.  He then took me to Ponderosa (Ponderosa?!) and admitted he had spent all his cash at Petco.  I paid the dinner bill with my emergency credit card.  Since he didn't have any money left, we skipped the movie and went back to my house, where he set the snake up in a fish tank in my basement.  My basement.  That damn reptile stayed in my basement for over a year.  I was in a long-term relationship, and I was still one of "all the lonely people"...

"Where do they all come from?"  There's the bitter man who spends hundreds of dollars on earrings and getaways and fancy meals, receiving a $2.39 Hallmark card in return.  There's my friend, let's just call her Eleanor, who is perpetually stuck in the "friend zone" with the man of her dreams, the man who will call her and ask where he should take his girlfriend for the holiday.  There are the single women who go out together on Valentine's day, drink to their "independence," and then sloppily text their ex-boyfriends as the night goes on.  "All the lonely people"...

 "Where do they all belong?"  In my experience, I just haven't known Valentine's Day to turn out as joyful and romantic as expected.  However, even though the holiday may be stupid, love isn't.  If you love someone, celebrate it!  Show it off on February 14th!  And if you're single, spend the evening with your friends, your family, the other people you love.  Enjoy the holiday, no matter how much it sucks.  Be positive... I'm trying to do the same.

"Ah, look at all the lonely people."

Here Comes The Sun

"Here Comes the Sun" is one of the Beatles' most well-known titles.  And why not?  It's happy.  It's positive.  It talks about about reaching the conclusion of tough times and finding the light at the end of whatever tunnel you've been lost in.  This song just makes you feel good.

Considering the balmy spring weather we've been having in Happy Valley.... at the beginning of February!... "Here Comes the Sun" seemed like an appropriate choice for this week.  However, this song has extra meaning for me right now besides the unseasonal warmth.  That extra meaning's name is Colin.

When I came to college, I was bound and determined that I wanted to be single as long as possible.  Why?  It's simple.  Relationships suck.  Maintaining such a close and personal connection with one person is really hard.  Being in a relationship means small issues turn into HUGE arguments.  It means attending to someone else's needs in a "Baby, are you okay? You seem really distant" kind of way.  It means having someone check up on you, someone always knowing where you are and what you're doing.  It means stifling feelings of jealousy that shamefully creep up when your significant other hugs his ex from high school or dances with somebody else at a party. It means a detachment from the outside world and the loss of opportunities to meet new people.  It means constantly wondering if you're making the wrong choice and asking, "What if someone better is out there?"  Six months ago, heck, one month ago for that matter, a relationship to me was something I wanted a few years down the road, something that right now, during my freshman year of college, would be more of an annoyance and a set-back than anything else.

My first semester I held strong to these admittedly shallow and bull-headed values.  After all, I think of myself as a pretty independent person, and I had a great time doing whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it.  I met boys, I got to know them, and whenever they wanted to come out of the "friend zone" and develop something more with me, I pulled away.  All was well.  Then second semester rolled around, and I met Colin.

I actually met Colin first semester.  He lives in my building.  We were fairly good friends last fall, and I definitely recognized that he was, well, really cute.  I never thought about him as anything more than a good friend, though, until all of a sudden we were spending all of our time together.  He taught me to ski. I taught him to play the piano.  We spent hours listening to music together and marveling at the fact that we like all of the same artists.  We went to parties together.  We went ice skating.  Over dinner one night, I realized that I was actually starting to like this boy...  me, who used to cringe at the thought of being dependent on another person!  I couldn't explain what was happening, but suddenly I was happy all the time, I was talking about this guy to anyone who would listen (until they began to roll their eyes and/or make retching noises).  I just wanted to scream, "Here comes the sun!"  Even though I never thought the sun was missing before, I realized I had been out in the cold.  Now, I'm admitting to myself that "that ice is slowly melting."  Now, I know that "It's all right," to let myself fall for somebody, that I can commit to another person and still be independent.  That I can still do whatever I want, whenever I want, but with somebody by my side.  I'm still the same happy person I was before, but now I have someone to share that happiness with. 

"Sun, sun sun, here it comes."